Friday, September 2, 2011

Flash fiction challenge.

Wrote this little disturbing blip tonight, quickly, as part of a flash fiction challenge.  100 words or less, subject:  revenge.

So, here goes!  A little dark for my usual style, but it works.

     *          *          *          *          *

     She hid the plastic stick in the bathroom trash bin and stepped into the darkness, floor creaking, threatening to give her away. 
      Dazed, she walked to the kitchen for water and retreated back down the hall toward the bedrooms, but she stepped into his room, not her own.
     She stood over his bed, moonlight glinting off the steel she did not realize was in her hand. She stared blankly, plunged it into his sleeping throat, and redness spread. He gasped and gurgled until, at last, he lay still. “It's all your fault,” she stared down at him.
      Two pink lines.  


  1. It took me two readings to get it. A little harsh I think. Although, the story does indicate he probably had no business going into her room. Powerful!

  2. No business indeed. More details were edited out for lack of space! ;)

  3. Also, trying to not explain, as it should speak for itself. If anyone really wants to know the intended backstory, I can elaborate. Want to wait for the end of the challenge, though. :)

  4. Brutal and subtle.
    I am assuming incest, by the room arrangement and that she must hide the pee-stick?

  5. *ding ding ding!* We have a winner! Sneaking about, in the dark, not shared bedrooms, hidden test, hoping to not be found out...

    The idea was incest or a stepbrother, both adolescents, could even be father if you read it that way. But, whoever he was, she always tried to stop him, he never would leave her alone. So it's all his fault and he got what he deserved, in her eyes.


You may use html tags to post links, if you like! HTML code help, if you need it.