security blanket

this face wilts in a dejected whimper
as I take a sip of a drink you suggested~
my arms shiver slightly
giving way to goosebumps
and without thinking,
I scoot back, expecting
the warmth of you to be there;
I expected to hear a sympathetic, "awww,"
and have those arms
wrap around me,
trying to keep me warm-
why is it that now, when I need you
every time I take a shaky breath
you're suddenly so far away?
I need to know if I wake up suddenly,
I can just scoot closer
and be safe-
the suspense is killing me!

I dreamt we were married
last night-
I hoped, somehow, when I woke,
we still would be-

until then, I'll settle for
chocolate ice cream and bubble baths
out of necessity
and hope that the time passes
quicker than this
unusually regular heartbeat